A mental state without guilt frees our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy for living a life of happiness and peace. All that leads to Super-Aging! Shame and guilt are depleting emotions. Living with guilt for me is like living in a semi-hell. I believe that shame and guilt age us, drag us down and kill our Force for Life! I find that being free of shame releases my vital energy.
For years I have made efforts to end any guilt and shame I was creating as soon as possible. As a parent I certainly apologized to my daughter on the average of once a week for all kinds of pushiness or inactivity, impatience or lateness. And thanks to Laurie and her honesty, I have become a more alert and more compassionate and responsible person. The act of parenting is certainly a wonderful learning experience at least it has been for me.
When we choose to live in wisdom and freedom we become a person who doesn’t create situations that result in fear, shame and guilt. However, we might still have a reservoir from the past. I hope the following ideas help you to let go of old shame and guilt you might still be experiencing. And I hope Day 26 inspires you.
So, if you have done something ditsy, cruel or unfortunate, correct it as soon as possible. Apologize and do the right thing. I use the word karma a great deal in my life. It is the old: “What goes around, comes around” or “You get what you deserve” or “Do unto others …”, or the definition of this Sanskrit word from Urban Dictionary: ‘Getting what you give~if you’re mean, you get bad karma~bad things … If you’re kindly & nice, you’ll get good karma~good things will happen.
So Fix Guilt or Shame ASAP:
Apologize in person if possible.
If you are holding guilt towards someone who has left their incarnation, you can apologize to them soul to soul and heart to heart through your Higher Self and their Higher Self. That’s a meditation technique. Or you can write a letter a soul to soul letter; and do include these 5 steps for a thorough release ala Virginia Satir or my teaching on the 5 Steps of Communication:
1. What I did.
2. What I think of that action now.
3. How if felt then and how I feel now.
4. What I wish I had done instead to solve this and I ask you to forgive me and I am forgiving myself.
5. This is how I choose to handle this situation in the future.
If you like the Native American approach, give the person a gift in the apology. And if that person isn’t available or is unmoving, give an anonymous gift to alieve your guilt and erase your karma.
Another powerful and mystical method for ending guilt and shame is this Hawaiian Ho’oponopono prayer:
“I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.”
Too often especially earlier in life we might have created bad karma by emulating some of the bullying and disrespect we observed or received. It’s never too late to stop bad habits and learn to live free of guilt and shame. We can drop those bad habits at any moment in time when we choose love and compassion.
Hoping these methods help you as much as they have benefited me.