Day 76, FREE to be YOUng: Give Your Dream a Title. It is Literature.

This technique of giving a dream a title is simple and brilliant. I have found that when I titled a dream it stayed with me during the day and guided me. It is as easy as that.  And guidance from the Super and or Sub-Conscious adds to Super-Aging.  After reading your dream two or three times, I suggest giving it a title even if you don’t have time to do any further work on the dream. A title encapsulates the energy of the dream which can be carried through the day.

The most horrifying night of dreams I had came while I worked as a family and group therapist. I worked in a center for young teens who were referred by the court at an early stage of using illegal drugs.  I titled the two dreams:  “THE FATHER-DAUGHTER MURDERERS”. I woke up in the middle of the night terrified because my father was chasing me through a forest, firing at me with a gun and attempting to kill me. I woke up quivering in fear and confused. I wrote the dream in my journal and prayed for understanding and went back to sleep. 

In the morning upon awakening again I was terrified!  This time I was chasing my father with the purpose of killing him! I immediately thought, “Well, this is going to be some hell of a day.” I prayed for peace, for understanding and calm as I readied myself for work and as I drove there.

The day was uneventful until my 4:00 family therapy session.  Just as we had all settled in a circle with our chairs, the father leaned towards me and said, “You know, Ruthann, I’m a killer!”

And I just thought, “Well, he’s my third killer of the day!” The dream had desensitized me for the topic of murder. I was a “dove” during the Vietnamese war and now, because of the dreams I knew the horrors of murderous chases and had been desensitized enough to the subject of killing to be objective.

He continued (The following are not his exact words and close enough for me–quotation marks seem fitting).  “I fought hand to hand in Vietnam.  I have killed several people; I don’t even know how many, more than five. That haunts me. But more than that, in Vietnam we had equipment that would click to warn us when the enemy was near. When I heard that clicking I had to go into a soldier’s alertness to defend my life and be ready to kill if necessary.

“Now, Lily (his youngest daughter) makes that same clicking sound of that warning equipment with her fingernails on the kitchen table and other surfaces. I get enraged when I hear that.  And I have to control my murderous reflexes. For everyone’s safety I leave the house.  I have never shared this with the family. But today I want to talk about the fact that I have killed people and about this triggering nail clicking. My family needs to understand me.”

He looked at his daughter and begged her, “Please Lily, learn to stop clicking your nails when I’m in the house.”

At this point, all of us were in tears of deep sorrow for his suffering and we were passing a box of tissues around the circle. I had previously had four sessions with this husband, his wife and their two daughters under the age of 15. Those meetings were uneventful. Before this admission by the father the family was having difficulty opening up. His sharing shattered the system open with his compassionate and loving appeal to be understood as a veteran. 

Family therapy became exciting and cooperative after this session. Within a few weeks, the father stopped working his two extra jobs as excuses to stay out of the house. The parents went on weekly dates! There were family outings on the weekends. He became more of  his pre-war self and felt adventuresome. He even dyed his graying temples and got a permanent (it was the early 80’s). The oldest daughter no longer felt the need to do drugs since there was no tension in the family that she needed to escape.  She felt loved and secure. Within three months she and her family graduated from the program.

My titling those terrifying dreams worked. Titling dreams works!  My experience is that dreamers often feel put upon to title a dream thinking that it locks the dream in cement. If you feel that way, give the dream 3 or 4 titles and enjoy your playfulness.

Hoping you enjoy your messages from the sub and super-conscious.

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