Day 83, FREE to be YOUng: Finding Harmony in the Midst of Conflicting Personal #’s

My closest colleagues and friends have had the same personal day # that I have. When that occurs it is easy to be in harmony and on the same rhythm. I don’t choose friends in this manner thankfully, they gravitate into my life. Having harmonious friendships is certainly advantageous for Super-Aging.

For my Norwegian friend Gerd who seemed like a sister, we often spent Saturday’s together when I wasn’t teaching. At first I wasn’t aware we shared the same personal day #. On one of her birthdays I realized the reason scheduling our activities was so easy, we shared the same personal day #. If I felt like teaching a class, she was easy with offering her large living room and kitchen and being the hostess. If I felt like going on a picnic she did, too.  If she wanted to stay home and tidy up and work on reports, it made sense to me to stay home and do paperwork. We felt like picking berries on the same days or taking drives in the country. Laurie at that stage was young enough to just tag along and be grateful to be on an adventure with “Aunt Gerd” and me.

My colleague with the same personal day # and I had the easiest times working together. As director, I would map out the schedule for four week retreat before we came together to teach. In our discussions, Jan Ton and I would agree when and how to adapt and change the curriculum for the group.  I remember only one time in working together 270 + days over 9 summers when we didn’t agree and couldn’t reach a quick compromise. That kind of harmony is so delicious to me. Couples I know who share personal #’s usually experience delightful cooperation.

NOW, what if you don’t share the same personal #?  As shared in another post my daughter’s number was one day ahead of me. It was agony for me to find compatible activities for us until I made a chart.  So on the 1 day of her wanting to initiate activities, I was in a 9 day wanting to tidy up and finish projects. I learned to ask her, “What would you like to do today in the apartment? What could we do that would make our living together easier?” Problem solved—she would be the initiator of the project. When she wanted to read her story books with me, I straightened the books.  When she wanted to look at photographs, I straightened the photo books. When she wanted to read recipe books together, I would research recipes with her and straighten the library.

Her personal 6 days of wanting to be close to family was easy for me, I had a 5 day of restlessness and I would give her two or three choices of something we could explore together in the city. We’d be close for her need for family and I’d get in some adventure and change of scenery.

In a large family, this must be very difficult.  Although I would think people with compatible numbers would group together. Even personal numbers are compatible and odd personal numbers are compatible. If you’re in relationship with someone with a personal day # that clashes with you, you may want to make your own compatibility chart.

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