Day 106, FREE to be YOUng: A Pleasant Heart Voice That Opens Others’ Hearts

“How is it that you stay so vital and seem so much younger?” was the question that ultimately motivated me to do this blog. As strange as this may seem, one technique opened my heart (making life more enjoyable) and helped me heal the residual pain of my youth. Feeling healed in any of the areas of body, mind and spirit aids Super-Aging!

While studying with Laura Perls in New York City I attended one workshop for Gestalt professionals with Fritz Perls. I had felt humiliated in the workshop with Fritz because he used me as an example of an inauthentic frightened young woman. He commented that my voice resonated in my head and not my heart. He dismissed me back into the circle knowing it would take too long to open me up effectively as a training specimen. I was the youngest and the least experienced person in the group. The more experienced Gestalt psychotherapists in training understood that my high voice was a defense against my real emotions.

Fritz didn’t give a technique for changing my voice in the workshop. I authentically got in touch with my anger at non-helpful men when I arrived home! I raged for over an hour until I was exhausted. His treating me like a specimen allowed me to get in touch with my fury.  This technique of referring to clients as specimens was a common technique of alternative psychotherapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists in group therapy in the early 1970’s I had observed it often when attending lectures with the top Pop Psychology theorists and therapists in New York. Thankfully more compassion is used now.

Shortly after the workshop, I started reading “Ego, Hunger and Aggression by Fritz.” The book gave a specific method of moving the voice to resonate in the heart:

Put one hand flat against your chest between the nipples and read the names in the telephone book until your hand feels the vibration coming from the heart area. 

By this time, I was convinced that I wanted to be authentic for myself and others. So, I started reading the Brooklyn telephone book. After two evening sessions of this, I decided it was boring and that my three favorite collections of poetry would be more uplifting, more exciting and more theatrical material! Within a week I began to feel some major changes during the readings. Yet I observed in my daily life that my voice would zing back up to resonate in my head too often during the day.

I stopped reading the poetry as a technique when my voice was coming from my heart 95% of the time. And I delighted when people commented on what a lovely calming voice I had. Success!

My own experience with clients (mostly female) with heady voices is that when they can move their voices into a heart vibration, tears immediately begin to flow. When I ask what words are behind the tears their unfinished Gestalts (thank you Fritz and Laura) pop out of the sub-conscious mind for resolution with the 5 Steps. The 5 Steps of Communication and Resolution of Gestalts will be covered later in the year.

Through the years, I was referred to as “the voice” by my recording friends. People I’ve never met who have heard my voice on audio recognize me immediately. Thank you again, Fritz!

My advice: check out the radiance of your voice and move it to your heart by reading your favorite material.  You will be happy with the results, “I guarantee it!”

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