A gong went off in my head with a realization a few years ago. I divorced a drunk in my middle 20’s for 3 reasons that I experienced as killing my life force physically, mentally and spiritually: 1. He expected me to drink along with him two or three nights a week. 2. He ordered me to not be more educated than him. 3. I didn’t want to subject my future children into his inauthentic drunken family.
In New York City I pursued a career in therapy by participating in therapy groups and doing therapy. My therapist and I agreed that I should call my ex and clear the air. I was to make points I had been too weak to make inside the marriage.
I called for this first chat on a Sunday afternoon thinking her would be home and sober. It had been 10 years since the divorce. He had remarried and had 2 children by that time. After the hello and “How are you?” greetings were over, I made my statement of assertion and clarity. He sounded thick tipsy tongued and sloughed my comments off. I was okay with that. I wasn’t surprised by his avoidance and irrelevancy. I had made my assertion and felt strong.
We did some small talk catching up on his family members and my father. And one of his sons sounded as if he were beside him. My ex insisted that this little boy tell me hello and what they were doing that afternoon. The boy had a speech impediment. John kept insisting louder and louder that his son repeat and repeat the message until it was clear enough for me to understand. I was horrified at his insistence that the boy be clear without giving him kind assistance and obviously without providing speech therapy. I was relieved that I had decided not to raise children with him! He had been an ideal uncle to his clear speaking nephews when we were married. So I was surprised at this mistreatment of his son. I made excuses about another appointment to end the little boy’s torture.
Twenty years later I was sharing this story with a friend and a GONG went off in my head. By this time I had my daughter Laurie with a rather typical speech impediment from the shape of a Down syndrome mouth. I realized that both John and I had karmic dates with souls who expressed this lifetime with speech impediments. We both had a date to learn compassion and patience with our offspring.
So, I’m convinced there is such a thing as couple karma even if they split up. They will meet their karma together or apart.