Albert Einstein once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. …
The topic of this post is still on the theme of repeated karma. This topic is daily relationship karma.
I know a couple who have had the same arguments every day I ever spent with them. It is their 66th anniversary today. When I visited them in the 50’s in DC it was the same argument. When I visited them on my honeymoon in the 60’s in Hawaii it was the same argument. In Colorado in the 70’s and at a Wisconsin restaurant for lunch in the 80’s, it was the same argument. You get the picture. It always ends up with a kind of cooing at each other. He says, “Nooowww, Honey.” And she says, “Nooowww, Sweety.” And everyone knows she really won. And an hour later there may be another repeat argument. They are in their 80’s. Obviously they have Super-Aging going on.
I would have died of boredom decades ago. Or before death could overtake me I would have run away (as per my birth theme) if I couldn’t create a change. I get so bored with repeat arguments which to me seems to be a kind of craziness as per Albert Einstein. The only one I still have repeat arguments with is my daughter over the topics of sleep and dieting and exercise. And I attempt to be creative, weird, funny and unexpected in my responses in these discussions most of the time.
My family therapist mentor, Virginia Satir, often said to families involved in repeat “performances” that got the system nowhere—to change their responses. “Do or say something ridiculous that changes the process.”
I sat in amazement several years ago in Indiana at the kitchen table in my father’s farm house. I heard my father and his second wife having the exact argument WORD FOR WORD that he probably had had monthly with my mother who had passed away decades earlier. I was so shocked, I forgot the topic. How, I wish I had been clear enough to write it down. It was theater, bad theater, but theater.
I believe that changing mundane arguments and discussions for a mutual growing benefit, helps both partners climb the ladder of spiritual ascension. Happy Climbing.